Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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