definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
