i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
