There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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