how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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