i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
