It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize