i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
