I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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