so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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