Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
