I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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