David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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