Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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