Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
