I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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