thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize