I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
