I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
