Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I made him laugh his dick is mine
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize