new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
