marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
