your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
