I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Your penis caused this!
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