I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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