Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
