So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize