it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
