i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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