Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
