Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
