This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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