On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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