My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
