Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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