Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize