Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
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