Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
