I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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