I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
