I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i drank out of a bidet.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
