Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
