mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
