What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
