If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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