garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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