How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
