id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
