for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
