Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
