bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
