It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
