I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
