Buhtt sex?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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