I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize