Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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