i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
