how hairy? two words: wookie tits
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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