i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
