i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize