stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
