capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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