I hate all girls vehemently.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
