I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
