OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He's a Shit stain on my heart
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
