Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
