She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
