I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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