All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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