She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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