WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
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