My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
