I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
