I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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