Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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