hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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